Overrated & Underrated Dating Red Flags🚩

Are you sure you can afford to be picky?

You’ve been on a few dates. Things seem to be going well, but something comes up that raises the alarm. Is it really that big a deal, or are you being a idiot (more so than usual)?

Let’s take a look at some of the most overrated and underrated red flags.

Keep in mind, these only matter if you’re looking to get serious. If after six months you still have her in your phone as “Keri blonde from Hinge” and have never spoken before 9pm, who fucking cares?

Underrated Red Flag 🚩: No Female Friends

“Girls are just so much drama”

“I’m not like other girls”

There’s a reason why other girls don’t want to be around her. Yes, I’m sure the relationship between her and the four guys she calls her besties has been platonic the entire time and there’s no backstory. Bonus points if one of them threatens you with “If you break Maggie’s heart I’ll fucking kill you.” OK, bro. Just run.

Overrated Red Flag 🚩: She’s Going To Prison For 12 Years

Just because she defrauded investors of $10 billion doesn’t mean she isn’t the one- she had good intentions with Theranos’ blood testing technology, and intentions are what really matter. If she’s locked up, you’ll have plenty of time to play NBA2K with the boys. Think about how hot she’ll get working out on the yard, and don’t forget the conjugal visits.

Underrated Red Flag 🚩: Massive Student Loan Debt

If things get serious, her debt becomes your debt, and there are no outs with student loans. Context is everything- did her $200,000 loan pay for a Wharton MBA, or was it for a B.S. in English from a fourth tier private school? If she’s got a $900 per month loan payment on a $50,000 salary, she won’t be able to buy you as many Funko Pops.

Overrated Red Flag 🚩: She’s Your Stepsister

You watch too much porn. Moving right along.

Underrated Red Flag 🚩: Has Lost Her Airpods Multiple Times

Does she repeatedly drop her phone and crack her screen? Does she forget her keys/wallet/cell phone at home? Wait until she forgets her birth control and Insulin while waiting for a locksmith at 4am.

Overrated Red Flag 🚩: High Body Count

You made the mistake of asking and she told you. Experience counts for something, right? You have a bunch of eskimo brothers out there to commiserate with about sleeping with your girl. Don’t forget, you have a history too (of jerking off multiple times per night).

Underrated Red Flag 🚩: Chronic Lateness

It may have been quirky on the first few dates, but this will absolutely become a thing you argue about. Every dinner plan, concert/movie, or flight will become a last-minute stressful event. When you start lying about what time things start so you actually have a 20% chance of arriving on time, it’s all over.

Overrated Red Flag 🚩: “She Doesn’t Like Wrestling/Anime/Dungeons and Dragons/The Rangers”

If you want someone to spend all Saturday playing in Magic: The Gathering tournaments and watching Formula 1, you should probably be dating a dude.

Any other overrated/underrated red flags we left off?

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