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Tik Tok Thots #4
From whence the hoes came?
Welcome to Tik Tok Thots, a lifestyle newsletter for degenerates.
It’s not fucking rocket science.
Don’t forget to subscribe and move Tik Tok Thots to your primary inbox.
Enter your email below, you fucking degenerate.
The Aforementioned Thots
Your fucking email bro. Type it.
Gifts For Your Side Chick (Less Than $50)
She’s on the roster, just not the MVP. Her birthday is coming up and you have to show slightly above minimal effort.
What should you buy her?
Show her you somewhat care about her wellbeing by keeping her hydrated. When she’s drinking water, she’ll stop asking why you only text her after 11pm. Get it here for $45.
A Candle For Some Fucking Reason
Fact: Girls like candles.
Fact: Girls like French shit.
Buy her a nice French candle here for $42, and come across as a thoughtful and cultured guy who never introduced her to friends or family because you don’t have any.
Fuzzy Cat Socks
She’ll stop complaining about being cold all the time when you’re at her place, as she obviously can’t come to yours due to your “roommate situation”. Get them here for $10.
Framed Picture Of You Together
Why would you document your relationship you fucking moron? Some people can’t be helped. You deserve what’s coming.
Shout out to @lilydsmith and her “great tits and correct opinions” for her contributions here.
Pussy From A Girl
Could you even imagine?
Nice Watch, Bro
The Tissot Heritage Vissodate is the kind of quality craftsmanship we expect from the Swiss watchmaker. Automatic movement, sapphire crystal, stainless steel backing will impress all the homies at the bus stop. Available here for $675.
Coming later this week: an interview with The Luxury Watch Guy.