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Tik Tok Thots #8: Getting Thot In Here
Welcome to Tik Tok Thots, a lifestyle newsletter for degenerates.
It’s not fucking rocket science.
In this issue, we’ve got:
-Christie Smythe gives advice
-Ways to make extra money in New York City
-Women desperate for attention on the internet
Don’t forget to subscribe and move Tik Tok Thots to your primary inbox.
The Aforementioned Thots
Your fucking email bro. Type it here.
Christie Smythe Gives Advice
As an award-winning business and finance reporter, Christie Smythe came to fame after developing a relationship with “Pharma Bro” Martin Shrkeli as he served a prison sentence for fraud while writing about his story.
Ms. Smythe has written for Bloomberg News, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune, and many other distinguished publications.
However, Ms. Smythe has never been published in Tik Tok Thots.
Dear Christie: My wife’s boyfriend says tonight’s session is closed door and I can’t watch. What should I do? -Thomas, Port Jefferson, NY
Maybe you all should go to a sex club together and loosen boundaries?
Dear Christie: My date is significantly less attractive than her pictures. I’m hiding in the bathroom right now. What should I do? -Anthony, Nashville, TN
You could tell her you’re very sorry but suddenly feel ill, possibly a stomach flu. Everyone will leave you alone if you have one.
Dear Christie: What can a guy say in the first DM to get a girls attention? -Raj, Bombay, IN
An unexpected sensitive but not creepy observation. A little bit of a mocking/critical edge to it is ok, but definitely not “negging.”
You can read more about Ms. Smythe’s story in Smirk.
Tips Making Money In New York City
The Big Apple can be expensive as fuck. A meal for two (let’s be honest, for one) at the Times Square Olive Garden with 0% tip can run you close to $100. How can you earn extra income in NYC to help fund your trip?
Let’s take a look.
Be A Helpful “Local”
Offer to take family pictures for tourists in Times Square. Slowly back away to "get the entire M&M's store in the frame" then run away with their iPhone.
Give A Wallet Biopsy
Did you go home with a stranger? Did you try to sneak out of their place before they woke up? Did you remember to go through their wallet first?
Free Coffee Hack
Walk into any Starbucks and steal other people's to go orders. As long as you look stressed, nobody will question you.
What’s The Most Down Bad Thing You’ve Ever Done?
“Subscribed to his engineering Substack.” -@kenny___rose
What You Should Be Watching
Yellowjackets season 2 is now out on Showtime. The show follows the story of a high school girls' soccer team from 1996 who survive a plane crash in the Canadian wilderness. It alternates between two timelines: the team’s struggle to survive in the wilderness and their lives 25 years later as adult survivors.
Nice Watch, Bro
The Citizen Promaster Nighthawk shown here is part of Citizen’s Blue Angels collection, a tribute to the Navy’s top fighter jet squadron. Powered by light with Eco-Drive technology, never needs a battery. Available here for $360.