Tik Tok Thots #7: Deep In Thot
Things to do with your girl and your side chick
Welcome to Tik Tok Thots, a lifestyle newsletter for degenerates.
It’s not fucking rocket science.
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The Aforementioned Thots
Woodworking with Thebikinicarpenter
Were you staring at my breasts? with Roninowherex
Make it pop with Thelargestbrasize
An Interview With A Big Titty Woman
We initiated a conversation with an actual woman, something you’re too scared to do. Let’s hear from Ashe Babes.
What can a short/ugly guy to do get your attention?
Being short/ugly is a mindset. Wear high heels and a mask.
What’s the best DM opener you’ve ever gotten?
“Your tits are ruining my life” or “Please circumcise me”.
It’s often said that “men are trash”. What percentage?
I love and appreciate men. Who else would suck my toes? Trash would be the 5% who are actually creepy and would wear my skin.
How can a guy make sure his dick pic will be well received?
Send it flaccid.
How can a guy spot if a girl is a “pick me”?
If she’s on a podcast giving dating advice.
Any advice for men about to shoot their shot?
Please be Jimmy Garoppolo.
Something Fun To Do With Your Girl
Indoor rock climbing is a great way to spend the day. Put your life in your partner’s hands as they stare at your ass.
You’ll get a whole body workout and test your grip strength and forearm muscles. All those years of jerking off three times a day were worth it.
Something Fun To Do With Your Side Chick
Your indoor girl stays indoors. Get delivery sushi and watch Succession. No restaurant or movie dates, you fucking moron. Remember, you haven’t introduced her to your family because you’re an orphan.
Tips For Cheaters
Cheating is wrong* and you should never** ever*** cheat on your girl. But you got that dawg in you, and if you’re going to cheat, here are best practices:
Create A New Persona
Your Instagram has pics with you and your girl, and I dOnT hAvE sOcIaL mEdIa is an obvious lie and red flag. Create a second persona with your middle name or some other name (NOT Danny → Dan, idiot) that has his own social media.
Plausible Deniability
On Tinder, use your real picture and your alt persona. If your profile gets discovered, this makes the old “It wasn’t me” defense much easier.
I Can Quit Anytime I Want
In 1918, Masataka Taketsuru left Japan to study whisky making at the University of Glasgow, then made Nikka Yoichi Single Malt. Great for pairing with Hungry Man dinners while watching Modern Family reruns alone. Available here for $96.
10/10 Tweet, No Notes
Look At This Hero
